Sometimes when things are really stressful at work or there is something coming up soon that is causing me anxiety, I tend to have trouble sleeping at night. I seem to get caught up in these endless mind loops of just thinking about the thing that is stressing me out; practicing what I will say, imagining how things will play out, and thinking about all the possible, branching paths that the stressful situation could take. When I awake in the morning, often the thing stressing me out is the very first thing that flashes across my conscious mind.
The Nine of Swords conveys the heaviness of the mind; the overbearing worry that can come from whatever is on your mind. What does anxiety and stress do to our minds and our bodies? The weight of thought is very real; we carry these metals ballasts around with us all the time often we cannot loose the tethers and set our minds afloat. Could we use the swords themselves to cut those strings? An interesting thought; perhaps a repurposing of the cutting blade is in order; instead of it remaining an instrument to to pierce our dreams and cut through our serenity, perhaps if we don’t let those anxious thoughts control us, then we might use those thoughts as something else; as a way to let them go. Sometimes, when we stress over certain things, we end up manifesting the exact stressor we have been trying to avoid. The Nine of Swords warns us to not let the mind’s obsession overwhelm and control us. I am also struck by the figure on the card covering his eyes; he does not want to see the oppressive darkness around him although that is all his mind is focused. Sometimes, when we close our eyes and try to shut out the darkness, we lose sight of any light that might lead us from it.
I think there might also be some optimism in this card; maybe we are being kept up at night for a good reason. Whatever you are thinking about, whatever dark thoughts and anxieties are plaguing your mind, perhaps this is a call to action to confront these anxieties head on; to seek guidance and help and to find a way to cope with whatever is afflicting you in this way. I know for me, until the thing in my life that is causing me anxiety is either dealt with or come to pass, I find it very difficult to sleep; I find it very difficulty to allow my mind to calm down and to stop focusing so hard on the these nine heavy swords behind me.
I also find it interesting the images of the swords seems to form a dark window; almost like ‘blinds’ (an interesting name for a window cover; it is as though we are ‘blinding’ our ability to see out), but all that is beyond the blinds(swords) is darkness. This is because the figure is refusing to look past or through the thing that is causing the anxiety; which so often is really just in our minds. Our minds creating that stress and that fear; yes, stressful situations exist all the time all around us but our mind takes that to the next level and allows u to see nothing past the stressor. The secret of the Nine of Swords is to open your eyes and look past the stressful thing, embrace the darkness a little and really look at what is happening around you. If you confront this fear and ‘see’ it, you might find sleep will welcome you once more.